I suffer from vertigo. Really bad vertigo. Whenever I go high up, all I want to do is lie down with my eyes shut and hold onto the floor. I hate that feeling and I really try hard not to let it hold me back. I have jumped out of an aeroplane and climbed tall mountains and felt every bit of that fear, but I have still done it anyway.
Those two words – f*ck it – are what I say to myself the moment before I do something that means facing my fear of heights. It somehow gets my body to do the opposite of what my brain is telling it to do. Instead of fight, flight or freeze – I ‘just do it’. Although I dislike that sense of trepidation I feel in scaling new heights, every time I do it, I am incredibly exhilarated to have conquered myself.
For me, life is no different. The height from which I am capable of jumping is far higher than my mind allows me to climb.
All my life, I have felt something stirring in me; something that’s never gone away. The world I see has never made sense to me. There’s so much more that can be done to make it a better place. More importantly, there is so much that I can do to make the world a better place!
To be very honest, I am tired of feeling the fear that keeps me from realising my dreams. I care so much about fulfilling my potential in the world now, that I don’t care what it takes for me to overcome any fear that’s holding me back.
I have been to the dark, dark place of living in the safe zone, crippled by restriction, wearing clothes that don’t suit me because they are not mine. Those clothes just don’t fit anymore; they always itched and chafed, and I’ve been feeling uncomfortable, not being fully myself.
My life purpose is about making the most impact I can. Therefore, I am about to jump from the highest heights to create the greatest impact that I possibly can – to change the world for the better. I want to explore how I can live my dream to become the highest impacting human being on earth. Every day I think – what would it take? How would I do it? I already have ideas for it: great, bold, odd, crazy, inspiring ideas!
I just need to be operating from a place where I can make those ideas happen. As much as I love where I am right now, it is remote and the wrong place for me to spend most of my time. I can make a much bigger difference from somewhere else in the world. I need to be wherever I can get access to the mindset, skills and tools to make big things happen – on a huge scale.
I’ve had it with just tinkering around in the foothills, where it is safe. I am not wanting to scale new heights to show off to others or to prove something. I am doing it just for the fun and exhilaration of having a go – and making a difference. I am off to be the person I feel I was born to be, wearing the clothes I was born to wear. It should be one crazy-assed, shit-scary, fun rollercoaster of a ride! And I’m OK with that.
I only need clothes that fit and my family beside me. The rest, in essence, is irrelevant to me. In life, I started with nothing; and I will end with nothing. In the course of that journey I might as well have fun standing up for something along the way!
What I can’t do any more is just stand by, listening to the fears inside my head, and the voices that tell me that I ‘shouldn’t’, I ‘can’t’ and I ‘won’t.’ I only have one short life. I will even enjoy failing as long as it takes me towards leading the remarkable, interesting, meaningful life I have dreamed about.
So yes, I am a big dreamer with big dreams to live! It’s time to stop talking about them and start living them! I’m off to do something that gets my heart pounding, and has the blood rushing through my veins.
To quote something inspirational that was sent to me recently by a wonderful friend and fellow world changer:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man [or woman!] who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt
I belong in the arena. So f*ck it. I’m jumping. From way up high.
Are you coming?
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