I suffer from vertigo. Really bad vertigo. Whenever I go high up, all I want to do is lie down with my eyes shut and hold onto the floor. I hate that feeling and I really try hard not to let it hold me back. I have jumped out of an aeroplane and climbed tall mountains and felt every bit of that fear, but I have still done it anyway.
Those two words – f*ck it – are what I say to myself the moment before I do something that means facing my fear of heights. It somehow gets my body to do the opposite of what my brain is telling it to do. Instead of fight, flight or freeze – I ‘just do it’. Although I dislike that sense of trepidation I feel in scaling new heights, every time I do it, I am incredibly exhilarated to have conquered myself.
For me, life is no different. The height from which I am capable of jumping is far higher than my mind allows me to climb.
All my life, I have felt something stirring in me; something that’s never gone away. The world I see has never made sense to me. There’s so much more that can be done to make it a better place. More importantly, there is so much that I can do to make the world a better place!
To be very honest, I am tired of feeling the fear that keeps me from realising my dreams. I care so much about fulfilling my potential in the world now, that I don’t care what it takes for me to overcome any fear that’s holding me back.
I have been to the dark, dark place of living in the safe zone, crippled by restriction, wearing clothes that don’t suit me because they are not mine. Those clothes just don’t fit anymore; they always itched and chafed, and I’ve been feeling uncomfortable, not being fully myself.
My life purpose is about making the most impact I can. Therefore, I am about to jump from the highest heights to create the greatest impact that I possibly can – to change the world for the better. I want to explore how I can live my dream to become the highest impacting human being on earth. Every day I think – what would it take? How would I do it? I already have ideas for it: great, bold, odd, crazy, inspiring ideas!
I just need to be operating from a place where I can make those ideas happen. As much as I love where I am right now, it is remote and the wrong place for me to spend most of my time. I can make a much bigger difference from somewhere else in the world. I need to be wherever I can get access to the mindset, skills and tools to make big things happen – on a huge scale.
I’ve had it with just tinkering around in the foothills, where it is safe. I am not wanting to scale new heights to show off to others or to prove something. I am doing it just for the fun and exhilaration of having a go – and making a difference. I am off to be the person I feel I was born to be, wearing the clothes I was born to wear. It should be one crazy-assed, shit-scary, fun rollercoaster of a ride! And I’m OK with that.
I only need clothes that fit and my family beside me. The rest, in essence, is irrelevant to me. In life, I started with nothing; and I will end with nothing. In the course of that journey I might as well have fun standing up for something along the way!
What I can’t do any more is just stand by, listening to the fears inside my head, and the voices that tell me that I ‘shouldn’t’, I ‘can’t’ and I ‘won’t.’ I only have one short life. I will even enjoy failing as long as it takes me towards leading the remarkable, interesting, meaningful life I have dreamed about.
So yes, I am a big dreamer with big dreams to live! It’s time to stop talking about them and start living them! I’m off to do something that gets my heart pounding, and has the blood rushing through my veins.
To quote something inspirational that was sent to me recently by a wonderful friend and fellow world changer:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man [or woman!] who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt
I belong in the arena. So f*ck it. I’m jumping. From way up high.
Are you coming?
Marc
If the above topic, or indeed any of my blogs are of interest to you, then contact me and let’s talk! Drop me an email at getintouch@marcwinn.com.
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I’m in Marc. F*ck it. Will be spending the winters in South America as planned. Thanks for taking the blinkers off. Where and when are we going to have that slow carb beer? Now there’s a business opportunity!
LOVE it.
and hell yeah, you belong in the arena!
see you there 🙂
(btw this quote was introduced to me by an accomplished world changer – Yossi Vardi: http://techcrunch.com/2007/10/12/the-man-in-the-arena/ )
Marc, I believe you have the courage but make sure you also have the wisdom so you make the best out of it.
To have more courage, you fight your fears by doing the things you are afraid of. You are already doing that.
To have more wisdom, you conscious has to transcend your mind and that my friend is a completely different story and it doesn’t involve doing more but doing less. We call it meditation 🙂
Yep. I’m coming too. The arena is there.
And I’d still love to have that coffee and conversation when you’re in London.
Geoff: Happy to have a beer anytime! Or maybe a glass of wine and a steak in Buenos Aires. Joanna: Talk to Jayne to organise jayne@marcwinn.com . Hamutal: Thank you for the quote! Vladimir: I am all about the least to achieve the most. And if you believe in the multiverse then we can be in an infinite number of realities. I choose the one where I get somewhere incredible by just being me every day.
That’s a great point of view 🙂
I absolutely love the way you think. Every blog post you write says something to me, and every time I see a new blog post in my inbox, I get excited.
Great post Marc. So pleased to have met a fellow world changer and even more pleased to read these inspiring words. Would love to share this post on my blog if that’s okay, giving full credit.
Cheers,
Ken
Yes I like it, and I understand it as the exuberant expression of an “early-stage” transform-the-world type of being, in whom there is still fear. When you combine spiritual growth and expansion of consciousness with this desire to transform the world, you begin to lose the fear and realize that you are acting within the cosmic design of rising consciousness. Then you actually become more effective as a change agent, while shedding the fear and some of the youthful exuberance. “Engaged Indifference” may not be as telegenic as F*ck It, but it is actually more powerful in producing lasting change, and it is easier on the body and mind as well. So from the perspective of Higher Consciousness, you can understand Engaged Indifference better. The Engaged part means you do absolutely everything you can to produce the transformation you are seeking to produce, and the Indifference part means you do not have fear or anxiety about the effectiveness of what you are doing. After all, when you have done absolutely everything you can do, there is no value to anyone for you to stress over the outcome. Even the complete success of your efforts is better celebrated without egoic pride and without zealous jumping up and down. Engaged Indifference is a learnable attitude that gives sustainablity to your transformational efforts and allows you to multiply and extend your successes without the needless emotional froth, that can be seen in F*uck It. And do you wonder how to act without the fear that F*ck It is used to blunt or shunt aside??? Well, the simple answer is: the Biocybernaut Institute Alpha brain wave training programs, which demonstrably reduce anxiety and fear, and measurably increase IQ and creativity and significantly improve your interpersonal relationship skills and successes.
Love the free abandon and the words of courage. The question is are you closer to making it happen to where you were when you wrote this and what would need to happen for you to get a step closer? Questions for all of us. Thank you ^Stefan