In Mexico recently, I watched a turtle making its way from the beach to the ocean. On land, it is a huge struggle for the turtle to move forward until the point where it hits the ocean. From then on, the journey becomes effortless. It feels a lot like where I am right now.
This year I embarked on an accelerated journey of self discovery that has taken me physically to many different places to experience many new things. This journey has given me the opportunity to learn more in a year than I have learnt in my lifetime before it.
Whilst the intention has been very much about creating the remarkable life I want to live and being the person that I want to be, the discoveries I have encountered on the way have been very surprising.
For those who know me personally, I usually have an appearance of outward ease. I have always tried to give the impression that I know how everything works and know what is going on. I give the impression of having it all together. I appear, on the outside at least, to travel light.
That is not the whole story. In fact, it is just a story. Believe it or not, for me, it took a lot of effort to appear so relaxed. My mind had never really been at ease. For most of my life there has been an inner struggle, a silent battle of self: constantly analysing, thinking, re-analysing, thinking some more, re-analysing again. The battle to know and understand everything. To appear calm in the world through knowing how it fits together. An endless exhausting quest to make things make sense.
Now, the problem I have had this year, exploring both the edge of human technical possibility and breadth of viewpoints, has been of a greater order of magnitude than I have ever encountered. I have learnt and learnt and explored and explored. I have received such a level of input that at times it felt like my mind was about to explode.
For the most part, I have enjoyed the incredible highs of discovery, but I have also encountered the lows of losing what I thought was ‘real’. This journey has challenged everything I thought I knew about this world – or the universe, for that matter. Every foundation I had thought on so hard and built over the decades has been shaken to its very core.
I started this year knowing a lot about most things. I approach the end of this year knowing a little about nothing. The more I learn and encounter, the less I believe that I know.
For a ‘know-it-all’, that realisation has not come easy! I have had to let go of the belief that I can truly understand what goes on. I have had to let go of the very earth beneath me.
The harsh realisation has forced a mental surrender. A surrender to the fact that I can’t know about everything. A surrender to the fact that I may never really know anything at all.
And in that surrender, I am learning to live comfortably in a life without answers. The surprising upside of this is that my mind has become quieter than it has ever been before. I have begun to swim through life rather than crawl through shifting sands. I have moved from the exhausting beach to the freedom of the ocean.
In a world where we try to control everything, we must understand that control is an illusion. Controlling what is, in essence, uncontrollable, is extremely hard. It is a ticket to a life paddling about in the sand.
To move from a life of struggle to a life of ease, the solution is to let go of the answer. Much more can be done in the world from a place of not knowing, than of knowing.
For the future, my hope for everyone, including myself, is for us to travel easily in the endless open space that is the ocean of life rather than struggle at its edges, in the sand.
To the wonders of the unknown.
Marc
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Thank you Marc. I appreciate you!
The feeling is mutual. Thanks Robin. x
Hi Marc
Always read but don’t usually reply but had to on this occasion, just to say how well that was put, I think we are all on our own personal journey, I know I thought I was happy running a number of businesses at once, a million ideas, trying to get it all in before I could do it no more, striving for greatness and recognition but also trying to “save the world” single handed but actually in my case I just needed to follow my heart and stop worrying so much, stop running so hard, making myself ill and do something I am truly passionate about before I look back and wonder what was that all about! The answer for me was to simply, focus on something I really loved, trust in where this will take me, continue to help others and create space in my working life to make room for opportunities.
Really excellent blog, really excellent advice, thank you so much for all your support. best wishes Steve
Thanks for sharing Steve. I know you can do it! M
Surrender…powerful word and the only word that can set one free. Beautiful post; thank you for being so open and honest.
Thanks Lisa. Mx
Love the analogy. I now love baby sea turtles more than ever and will try to visualize myself as one whenever I am making things too complicated for myself.
Thanks for sharing Keely. I am glad you will take the analogy with you. Mx
nice analogy. i have had my fun in the sand this year and am increasingly staring out into the ocean. time for a swim.
Yes you have! I look forward to seeing how it turns out. M
Yes. My greatest lesson of the past 18 months.
I thought you would enjoy more talk of surrender! A tough but necessary journey… M
Great post Marc! I think you summed up our weekend at the beach wonderfully. I know that my clarity of vision and the ease in my spirit came once I released the desire to know and “control” it all. Honestly, letting go of control was easy. Letting go of the desire “to know” was hard and I continue to struggle with it. However, now, I can identify those moments in my life and sit with them with the understanding that some things just need time. I will survive. XO- B
I loved this, may our universe be constantly shaken up 🙂
We all will Brandon!
Great blog – I understand what you’re saying about letting go of the need to know. And you’re free from material cravings so that just leaves actually doing stuff. So I’ve taken the liberty of replacing ‘knowing’ with ‘doing’ in your blog to see what would happen in that department too….
I started this year doing a lot about many things. I approach the end of this year doing a little about nothing. The more I learn and encounter, the less I believe that I achieve.
For a ‘do-it-all’, that realisation has not come easy! I have had to let go of the belief that I can truly achieve things. I have had to let go of the very earth beneath me.
The harsh realisation has forced a physical surrender. A surrender to the fact that I can’t act on everything. A surrender to the fact that I may never really do anything at all.
And in that surrender, I am learning to live comfortably in a life without action.
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