Shifting Realities

Shifting Realities

0 Flares 0 Flares ×

I was in a coffee conversation with a friend last week that helped me to realise something.

We all live and create our own individual reality. When our differing views on reality emerge in public, they can cause friction between ourselves and other people.

From politics and religion, to nations and tribes – the world is subject to huge collective gaps in mutual understanding. We all hold dearly onto our own view on the world, as if it is the only version of reality that exists. We have this hugely strong attachment to ‘what is,’ when ‘what is’ can never be the only version of reality in existence. Other people have other beliefs of what is ‘true’ or ‘real’ for them. And as we experience new things – or ‘new realities’ – our beliefs and our current realities change, too.

Thinking about when I was growing up; who I was, then, and to which version of reality I attached myself in those days; my worldview now is massively different from what it was, then. If my younger self and I had a conversation, I am not sure how far we would agree with each other.

With every experience, I have had to unpick the realities I once held to be true, and notice how they have shifted to new realities, as a result. A lot of the time, moving from one reality to the other has been a painful and torturous transition. Sometimes we are so entrenched in our beliefs – about our ‘reality’ –  that they prevent us from experiencing new beliefs and new realities – many of which are more beneficial to us. They can also prevent us from empathising and understanding other people, whose reality is different to our own.

These days, I just assume that everything I see and believe will be thrown on its head at some later stage. I anticipate that everything is transitory, that the reality I see and feel does not actually exist. I am living in a simulation that is the sum total of my experiences and beliefs up to that point.

Whatever I spend my time doing, in events and in conversations, it is about helping people shift their reality – hopefully in a kind and gentle way.

The world needs to become very good at this – more than anything. To find a collective peace, we need to find a collective shared reality.

In doing so, we need to find a way to leave the realities we currently inhabit. Every belief system, every way of doing things, every lens on the world will be somehow disrupted in the years ahead. For me, chaos in the world comes from us all sharing the same space whilst living in a mixed reality. The super skills we all need to learn, to create a shared reality are twofold:

  1. To hold someone’s hand and help them to move gently on, from where they are
  2. To allow someone else to hold our hand to gently move us on, from where we are.

If we spend our time and energy on developing these skills, we might find it a lot easier to get along.


0 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 0 LinkedIn 0 Email -- 0 Flares ×

Please, let me know what you think of this post:

Love It 712Hate It 21292

Buy Me a Coffee

Did you love this article? If so please consider buying me a coffee.

Buy Coffee

Take The 50 Coffee Adventure

A Fun, Light and Easy Way to Build Connections

Buy Now (UK) Buy Now (US)

Or search your local Amazon store for "The 50 Coffee Adventure".


add a comment
  1. What happens when you want to hold their hand and they do not want to hold yours – are you ‘in’ and they’re ‘out’?

  2. I’m of exactly the same opinion mate 😉

  3. Some will and some won’t, what is important is some do….

  4. Jessica LaClair Doğantemur says

    “Many small people in many small places doing many small things can change the face of the planet.” Not my quote but one I subscribe to with all my heart. The more of us that reach out in our own little worlds, the more the effects of those actions ripple out into the wider world. Eventually the ripples start to intersect…and then synergy begins to take effect. I love what you have said and I am deeply glad for many small people in many small places…people like you, changing the world separately..but somehow deeply together!

  5. Sarah Moore says

    A beautiful, hopeful piece Marc. Thank you

  6. Love this. My observations of, and participation in, the world of recovery have been like this. For example, I used to describe drawn to an atheistic or agnostic view of the world. Then I saw how people with faith seemed so much more at ease and by holding their hands my heart has softened and opened

  7. Julia Buckley says

    Love this. Chimed with me in lots of ways. Hope all’s good in your reality Marc, it’d be lovely catch up sometime soon. 🙂

  8. Hi Marc,
    this is so true! That’s why it is so important to keep communicating with each other. And Listening and the ability to have empathy and being able to express empathy even if we do not agree with one another is the most powerful skill I think, because empathy enables us to visit the reality of one another which ultimately is the true meaning of understanding each other. It opens up our hearts and our worlds for each other. We can visit each others realities and might find out that we have more in common than we think.
    I hope you are well!

  9. Just out of curiosity, do you literally believe you are living in a simulation, or do you use that as a metaphor?

    I’ve read about Simulation Theory (and had a few ideas about it), but ultimately concluded that, while fascinating, it makes no difference to how I live.

  10. You mention coffee an awful lot in your posts. Why not try herbal tea instead? I like green tea, it is very nice and not made with moo juice. Why do humans drink cow’s milk anyway?

  11. Wow. Thank you man. This was inspiring

  12. if someone tries to wake me up while I’m sleeping in real life will I snap out of the DR

Leave a Reply to Bridget Spinney Cancel reply


0 Flares Twitter 0 Facebook 0 LinkedIn 0 Email -- 0 Flares ×