If I lost everything, would you help me?

If I lost everything, would you help me?

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“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself!”
Franklin D Roosevelt

I’d like to ask you a simple question, right now:

“If I lost everything, would you help me?”

If you’re keen to respond, you can go straight to the comments section at the bottom of the page, or I can explain a little.

This is a live experiment – not just a blog post.

There is absolutely no reason why you should already know, but this is about as tough as it gets for me.

Setting myself up for possible public failure is what I fear most in the world!

I am a product of the British education system. We are taught, in the main, to conform and not take risks and where failure is considered to be a bad thing.

I am feeling fear big time now as I’m writing this – because I don’t know what the outcome will be.

If you have made an assumption as to my character based on my previous posts, it would be easy to believe that I am fearless and embrace failure, and it’s true that my fears are generally well managed. But the truth is – I feel fear just like everyone else. No-one is entirely immune to vulnerability.

My fight or flight response is kicking in now. My head is telling me not to do this, in case nobody responds, but my heart – and knowledge of humanity – trusts, and tells me it will all be fine.

The fear I am experiencing right now is probably groundless but only you can prove this to me. My hands are actually shaking whilst I am typing this and I can feel my heart racing at the thought of putting this out into the world!

So, be very assured that I am not writing this post for my own self-gratification, but as an experiment to encourage you to go out and live your true potential – and make a bigger difference in this world. Fearlessly!

I want you to ignore any voices in your head and listen to what is in your heart.

There is so much risk-aversion and fear these days, because most of us spend our lives planning for safety, and buying things to make us feel secure: saving, paying mortgages, taking out pensions and insurances – all to provide a safety net for a worst case scenario that never happens.

We are part of something much bigger than ourselves. Even if you don’t believe in anything spiritual, there’s a community – and a wider society beyond you, and surrounding you. It’s not all about you!

The reason that the human race won the Darwinian race is because we learned to work together. Even from our earliest days of civilisation as tribal hunter-gatherers and farmers, humans have recognised the value of working together.

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Modern society and business has been driving us down a road of increasing isolation, competition and independence. We only have to think of the common phrases used to describe the world – ‘dog-eat-dog’, ‘every man/woman for him/herself’.

We are encouraged into – dare I say it (yes, I do!) – ego-led self-centredness. But the opposite is actually true – it’s our human nature to be fundamentally interdependent, social and sociable creatures.

The only safety net we actually need is the people and community already around us. My biggest desire is that this post will demonstrate that to you.

So, please take a few seconds to answer these simple questions in the comments section below:

1. If I lost everything, would you help me?
2. Why would you help me?
3. How would you help me?

I am hoping you will respond, and I hope that readers of these comments below are encouraged by seeing that there are supportive people out there. Whatever is written should be all the evidence you need that the safety net we spend our life working for is actually already all around us.

The real significance of this post is contained in the words everyone records below. Otherwise, this is all meaningless. If other people’s comments below inspire you to live your true path and give up what’s holding you back, then this risk is worth it.

When you have read the comments (and made the comments!), reflect on the implications of what has been written. Can you learn something from this?

Why don’t you ask people around you the same questions? Would they help you? You may learn, just as I have done, that you have nothing to lose, no matter where you start from.

Trust that there are enough good people in the world who will help you and work with you, to get you not only on your feet, but free-falling with a parachute, no matter what. Feel the wind in your hair! Feel the excitement and exhilaration! See your best possible future ahead, bright and clear and there for the taking.

Let nothing stop you. Be encouraged, and have courage. Go out there, and do whatever it is that you are supposed to do in this world!CLICK TO TWEET

I promise you, that in reality, there is nothing to fear, but fear itself!

If the above topic, or indeed any of my blogs are of interest to you, then contact me and let’s talk! Drop me an email at getintouch@marcwinn.com.

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  1. YES Marc. I would help you! Absolutely.

    Why? Because it reflects my vision of the world as a place where we help one another. It reinforces my belief in our inter-connectedness.

    How? In whatever way you needed that I could provide… a shoulder to cry on, some money, a place to rest, a place to stay, some work to do … what would you most need if you lost everything?

    Thanks for the great questions and your great courage!

    P.S. I would also celebrate wildly with you if you suddenly got everything you ever wanted! (Kind of the flipside of helping if you lost everything.)

  2. 1 If I lost everything, would you help me? YES

    2 Why would you help me? Because you helped me achieve my dreams.

    3 How would you help me? Keep drawing your cartoons for you!!

  3. Oh, let me count the ways…

    1. Opening heart – inviting you into a place of compassion and acceptance.

    2. Showing up – here I am! (reminder: to ask someone for help is a strength, not a weakness)

    3. Asking “what do you need?”

    4. Reminding you that you already have everything you need.

    5. Addressing your ‘fight or flight’ lizard brain response: this ancient part of our brain still kicks in when we approach the unknown, using fear as a protective/survival tool, making us think there’s actual danger (which is quite useful when appropriate), but what we get to do now, as mature human beings is engage the youngest part of our brain, the frontal lobe, to override the primative response. Which leads me to…

    6. Encouraging you to be present. Breathe. Be here, now. Fear dissipates when we are present. This gets much, much easier when we’ve developed a practice of mindfulness.

    7. Reframing the myth of failure as a learning process. Ask yourself, “what did I gain?”

    8. Inviting you out for a drink…blowing off steam and relaxing. Putting the body at ease. Finding a sense of freedom from the situation.

    9. Encouraging some madcap adventure – FUN! FUN! FUN! (a.k.a. raising your vibration)

    10. Telling you to go hug your family, tell them you love them – they’re what’s REALLY important.

  4. 1 Would I help you? Of course I would help you
    2 Why? I like helping people and it is you (so even better!)
    More importantly you were there for me when I asked for help
    3 How? I have a place you can stay, a safe space, I would listen and be there for you, ask you what did you need? I have great friends who may be able to offer help too. Laugh at the situation and when something feels bad, know that in time it will pass. Remember that there is hope and know there is always a way. Encourage you to do whatever you want to do. Appreciate the here and now, and that you are alive. Cherish every positive moment. The lessons learnt will help with the next success, each step towards that success would be celebrated!

  5. 1) If I lost everything, would you help me?

    Take it back a step – If you had lost everything right at this moment in time, it would not matter one iota to me. I would not be going anywhere.

    2) Why would you help me?

    I would be there quite simply because you are you and that is reason enough. I value and believe in you 110% and that would not stop because you had lost everything. Plus, what would I do with myself on Monday mornings without you!

    3) How would you help me?

    By doing exactly what I do now – giving you the confidence and support to be you and take on that world.

    For you to know that in this ever changing fast world there are some constants in life that are there no matter what.

    To make you see this “lost everything” as a severe way of getting rid of all the “clutter” so you can start again from a clean slate.

    Jx

  6. 1. Yes, of course.
    2. Because you’re slightly crazy and ridiculously awesome and loving.
    3. Many ways. Give you a home, food, the space to listen and vent, inspiration, positivity and overall hope – reminding you that you have everything you need inside you already and that you alone are whole. Failure – as you’ve told me – plays only a tiny part in growing, learning and thriving. I’d gently remind you of that and then give you a kick in the butt to go out into the world and heal this planet.

  7. 1 Of course I would! Ask and it is given.

    2 Because you are in my heart and are my friend, and also because you’re a tenacious person so you’d not ever let me forget that I did not help you 🙂

    3 I’d shine a light for you – give you the gentle reminder of who you truly are, hold your hand, encourage and uplift you. I’d also kick your ass if you were having a pity party!

  8. 1. Of course
    2. Because… because you’re my people. How could I not help someone that matters to me and is in trouble?
    3. That would really depend on what the situation was, but I would try to help get you back on your feet in whatever way necessary, provide a home, a support, a friend, an ear… whatever you needed to get going and get back to being the awesome you that we know.

  9. 1) Mais bien sur mon ami
    2) Because I love you man!
    3) With my time, energy, love, support, gift of listening, resources, humour, smiles, shoulder, heart, voice and some fairly decent vin rouge. Anything you want baby, anything you need….

  10. 1 If I lost everything, would you help me?
    Yes this is human nature.

    2 Why would you help me?
    Because you would help me.

    3 How would you help me?
    Bread on the table, food, shelter, company & give you a cup of coffee. Everything else would flow from what you said at the table.

    Fear is very personal it knows you better than your partner that is what makes it such a bastard, but generally shine a light on it, introduce it to those around you, walk up to it and give it a little kick if you cant do a knock out blow, eitherway it goes away..

  11. 1 If I lost everything, would you help me?
    Yes, Without question or condition.

    2 Why would you help me?
    I have lost everything and you have helped me when I didn’t expect it. It would be the least I could do.

    3 How would you help me?
    Understand what you’ve actually lost versus what you think you’ve lost. Get clear on your definition of “everything”- and go from there!

    Arnold

  12. Yes, I would help you, because you are a nice guy and I am a nice guy.
    I know you would help me. You have in the past and we will continue to help each other.
    If you have only this then you would not have lost everything!

  13. 1) Yes I would help you
    2) Because I met you and liked you and I read what you write
    3) A free lunch! and have a chat about what you need, then do what I could to help you get whatever that is.

  14. 1) Yes
    2) Because I care about you.
    3) Food, shelter, a reminder that everything will be OK, someone to sit and listen to your story, and whatever other needs I’m in a position to meet.

  15. 1) Yes
    2)I believe that you treat people how you yourself would want to be treated
    3) By being with you as a friend

  16. 1. Yes.

    2. Because if it was the other way around, I’m sure you would help me. As you said its human nature to work together. I personally find it easier to help people I know than not. Or more simply ‘Why would I not help you’?

    33 How would you help me? Don’t get me wrong, you can’t stay in my spare room! (well not for long) But I would call on other people in my network, to help you get back on your feet, and if I was in a position to give you a suitable job at the time, then the job would be yours. If we don’t help one another then we might as well go back to the trees (or New York, whichever is more convenient)

  17. 1) Yes

    2) Why: Because you asked, but actually you wouldn’t have to ask I would just roll into action

    3) I would open the door to all my available resources and I would hold space for you to integrate the lessons you just learned from this experience and when you were ready to make a new life or possibility I would rally around you.

  18. 1. Yes

    2. Because you are a fellow human being and deserves as much help as anyone else I know better or worst.

    3. Whichever way I could, that we would talk over during that warm meal and cold beer, for dinner – my treat of course.

  19. Marc,

    You were right. I am encouraged by the comments reflected on this site. In a world that increasingly glorifies negativity and the pain and suffering of others, I often wonder where all the good people are hiding. It always seems like when i start wondering, they show up. I saw them yesterday as they stood in solidarity with the LGBT community, I saw them after environmental catastrophes the have plagued the globe in recent years and I see them here.

    Keep showing up! Keep sharing your heart and love with the world.

    So, to answer your questions:

    Yes, I would help. How? Not sure, it depends on what you need. I know for certain that I would help in any way I could. Why? It’s in my DNA. My parents are two of the most generous people I know. They raised me and my sisters to be generous in deeds and resources and to be compassionate to others, especially when they are in need.

    Great post Marc.

  20. 1 If I lost everything, would you help me? Yes

    2 Why would you help me? Because you have helped me and those closest to me. You have held a mirror up and showed me the person I can, and ought to be. Thank you.

    3 How would you help me? By holding a mirror up for you, to remind you of the wonderful person you are, can be and ought to be.

    PS the wind blowing through the hair analogy does not work for those of us who have challenged follicles!

  21. Maybe. I know is difficult to accept, but what and how did you loose are important to me.
    If is health related, 100% sure in any way I can.
    If it’s love, maybe a place to cry and someone to talk? You’re not my type 🙂
    If we’re talking about knowledge, I’m here to support you in your journey to come back to the game and acquire a new profession or knowledge necessary to other parts of life.
    If it’s money, then it depend? Not only how (it can be gambling for example), but also what you will do to fix it?

    The first person that need to help you is YOU. for sure I can be the second, but if you don’t understand what happened and you’re not willing to change, than I can try, but I’m not your guy. I’d like the idea to teach fishing instead of give the fish to you.
    Disappointed? Life is too and still, we need to deal with our problems.

  22. Yes, of course I would be happy to help you.

    I would help you because that’s what we do, we help one another — at least that’s what New Yorkers do 🙂

    I would maintain my vision of you as whole, healthy, and happy regardless the details of your situation or how you view yourself. Although you might occasionally lapse into blaming the British education system or anything else for your state, we both know you know more than that and ARE more than that, and I will remember what you truly are even when you don’t.

  23. Hey there, Marc!

    I’m taking this beyond the personal and individual – and responding generally. I know you’ve taken this risk on behalf of other people to demonstrate that there’s support out there. As you say – it’s not all about you. So this goes for anyone.

    1. Yes – I’d help you, and anyone else who asks openly, or even not openly – but implies it through their manner or situation. Sometimes people aren’t brave enough to ask for help, or have too much pride. An offer of help – helps!

    2. Because we all need a hand sometimes. Difficulties are only transitory, and everyone can be active in making a change. Besides, being helpful and making a difference cheers me up, too. I hope that if I helped anyone they’d pay it forward – and help others. And what a great world that would be!

    3. I’d help in whatever way you or anyone needed, and in whatever way I can, with the resources I have. Emotionally, and motivationally, I’m good at geeing people up anyway – whether it’s professionally through lifecoaching, NLP or laughter yoga, or privately just listening, or where appropriate, using my humour and positive attitude. There’s always time, and space, for anyone who needs it. Food and wine, too! I don’t usually have much money, but whatever I have, I donate when I can to help others.
    So – I’m here – providing a safety net (and a hairnet, if required). You’re safe and sound (without a hair out of place).

  24. Yes I would help you.

    I would help you because you needed it – that’s enough.

    It depends on the situation and how open you are to being helped. I’ll go all the way from buying you a beer and listening to your story to moving you and the family into the house if that’s what you need. And then we’ll start working on the plan to get you back on your feet and the hell out of my basement.

  25. Mark, the best way to let go of your fear is to do the things you are afraid of.
    You just did that!

    1 Yes

    2 Because:
    – I would BELIEVE YOU that you really lost everything.
    – I know you are a GOOD PERSON and you DESERVE my help more then others do.

    3 I would ask you what you need the most from what I have to offer.

  26. Hi Marc-

    1. Yes
    2. Because I can
    3. Being present with you, and to whatever is arising for you in the moment; reflecting back to you your own true magnificence and reminding you of your capacity to access your own inner resources.

    Hugs!
    E

  27. I would help you, however I could. But I’m not sure it’s possible to lose EVERYTHING. If you’re still alive, that’s something, surely. Great post, really got me thinking. xx

  28. Wow! I am blown away by the responses to the post. You do something with the belief that it is the right thing to do. To see it happen in reality is a totally different feeling to what I expected. Thank you all for being such great human beings. It shall drive me forward without fear. Mx

  29. 1. Yup
    2. Because I always try to help when someone asks, or obviously needs my help – and especially if it’s an old friend!
    3. A roof (over your head). A shoulder (to cry/lean upon). Money (to get you set up again). Food (but easy does it unless it’s ‘binge day’). Beer (to cheer you up). Advice (the most valuable gift I can give). Whatever else you need buddy!

  30. 1. Absofunkinlutely.
    2. Because you have always provided help, insight, advice, humour, beers and lunch when needed.
    3. However I can.

  31. 1. Absolutely, i would help you.
    2. Because it is the human thing to do, alone little can be accomplished, together as a team there is nothing that can stand in our way. Together we are unstoppable.
    3. I would teach you, guide you and work with you, to ensure you became successful. Because once you hit bottom there is no where to go but up. There is an old saying, feed a man a fish you feed him for a day, teach him to fish, you feed him for life.

  32. 1. YES Marc – of course I’d help you.
    2. Why? Why not?!
    seriously – why on earth not? I would help any living creature with good intentions at heart (in fact, I’ve notoriously helped some bad people too, in hopes it’ll change them. guess what? it sometime does!). And as I would help almost anyone in need of help, needless to say I’d help someone I believe in. There are only a handful of people out there who mean to change the world 🙂
    3. How? however is needed!

  33. 1. yes. without hesitation.
    2. why? because you’ve asked and because I believe that is why we are here: to help each other. And, quite honestly, because I believe you are going to change the world and any setback, even one that causes you to “lose everything” would only be part of your process.
    3. how? in the manner that you have asked and, hopefully, by not inserting my own values and judgments upon how best to help you, but allowing you to ask for what you need and responding in kind.

    I made a pretty huge assumption that when you say that you “lose it all,”you are talking about “things” and not people, values and meaning. So, perhaps most importantly, while I would gladly try to replace what I could of the material things you lost, I would remind you that you have not “lost it all,” as you remain rich beyond measure!

  34. 1. Yes. Of course. Although I would call it support, rather than help.
    2. Like Elizabeth, because I can. And also because I believe that *you* is really *me* sitting over there cleverly disguised as *you.*
    3. In whatever the confluence of what I can give and what you need is.

  35. 1. Without a doubt. I wouldn’t hesitate if it came to that situation.

    2. I would help you, because you have taught me much wisdom. Wisdom, which they do not teach us at educational establishments. I have become a better person through your blogs, and I would see it as keeping even? As you said, we all need to stay together, and become less self-centered.

    3. However, i can. If you need a place to stay, we have a spare room. If you require financial assistance, I would try my best to fulfil your needs. I would try to suffice your requirements

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